Kirikae
by lawless
Summary: In a strange twist, Sano and Megumi switch bodies and have to contend with the consequences.
1. Chapter 1

**Kirikae**

 _By lawless_

* * *

Takani Megumi woke up with a start. The first thing she noticed was the overwhelming stink of…garbage? She grimaced and took in her surroundings. Bright, sunny sky, partially hidden by a banana peel barely hanging on to a _yakitori_ skewer sticking from a –

Megumi's eyes widened as she sat up, hitting her head on a plank of wood in the process.

The high-pitched scream startled from half-slumber an old geezer sitting on a stool in front of a store a few blocks away.

 _Chikushou!_ Megumi grabbed her head in pain while at the same time scrambling on all fours, trying to get up. Her head was pounding and not just from the bump. Judging from the way it felt like tiny little _oni_ were merrily hammering away from the inside of her skull meant that she was having a hangover. The worst one she'd had in years since – well, probably since she left Takeda's mansion.

In the struggle to get up on two legs, Megumi's gaze caught sight of her hands and did a double-take. She held up the offending limbs in front of her eyes, aghast. They were rough, dirty, scarred, with scabs half-concealed by bandages badly in need of changing. Then Megumi had an epiphany, along with the terrible, horrifying, violent realization.

She glanced down at the rest of her body, half-hoping she wouldn't find what she expected to find. But at the sight of her half-naked torso and the tent between her legs, she felt for the first time that she might faint. The blood rushed up her neck all the way to her ears. But they weren't her torso, no. Just as these weren't her hands. Megumi raked her fingers through her hair and found them stuck in there, amid the muck and the grease. Slowly, with a kind of conscious dread, she noticed all the other tell-tale signs: the tight, oddly damp sensation around her forehead, the inexplicable aches she seemed to feel all over her body, and finally, and this was the worst, the overwhelming need to go to the bathroom.

* * *

Somewhere in Tokyo….

 _Nanja korya_. Sagara Sanosuke sat up, rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times for good measure. But they were still there, that tantalizing valley of flesh sitting right on his chest. His own chest. Out of sheer curiosity, Sano grabbed at the collar of his _yukata_ (why the hell was he wearing a yukata? was the question at the back of his mind) and parted them to reveal…breasts. Beautiful, soft, pink-nippled breasts.

 _Nanda? Nanda kuso?_

* * *

"Yo, Zanza!"

Megumi froze. In front of her was a rough-looking man seemingly stalking in her direction. She dropped her gaze and quickly turned.

"Oi, Zanza!"

She ignored him.

"Oi, what the hell are you doing, _baka yarou_?"

 _Yabai_. He sounded angry. Megumi quickened her pace. _Mou_ , why did Sano have to know so many people? This morning, she barely got out of the public bathhouse without being assaulted with friendship from a naked fiend who was so pleasantly shocked to find Sano there so early and at all that he'd insisted right there and then to compare sizes, much to Megumi's mortification. She'd just wanted to be clean, dammit! Not to compare _ochinchin_. But instead of getting angry or shocked at her crudeness, the man merely laughed at the way she called Sano's penis. His laughter had followed her out of the changing room, out the door, into the street. By the time Megumi was out of earshot, her face was bright red with indignity.

And now, this.

She glanced behind her and saw the man still following her. Oh god, stop, please. Why the hell is this happening to her? She started to break into a run, only to end up bumping against something hard and unmoving. Then, there was the strangest sensation of being yanked from gravity by the collar of her _gi_.

"Oi, _kusottare_!" A deep voice came from the hard, unmoving something whom, upon taking a good look, Megumi realized was a large tub of a man. Because he was so tall and so big, he didn't see Sano's face right away until he finally lifted her up at eye level. " _Monku akka?"_ He boomed.

" _G-gomen_ ," Megumi tried to say but the man didn't seem to hear her as he kept repeating the question, his vocabulary seemingly getting cruder by the minute.

Finally, the man who was following Megumi arrived. _"Baka ja nai no?"_ He said to the big man.

"Haah?" The man's voice boomed even louder. He sounded pissed off.

"Don't you recognize that guy? That's Zanza, you idiot!"

" _Nani kuso?"_ The man looked at Megumi again, who lowered her brows and tried to look dignified? Cool? Pissed off? The question was: what would Sagara Sanosuke do in this situation?

"Put him down, Hiroto," the man said, "before you really piss him off and he gives you the beating of your life."

Hiroto put her down carefully. But he still continued to stare at her skeptically. " _Ano, gomen na_ , Zanza. But there's something weird about you today. You don't look normal."

"I don't know what –" Megumi started to say until she remembered to say instead: " _Urusai yo_ " as she smoothed out her _gi_ and wrapped it around her, covering her bare chest in the process. It was a decidedly un-Sano-like gesture.

" _Sou desu_ ," the other man agreed, watching her with pointed eyes. "I mean, I saw him earlier and called his name and he just started running away from me like he owed me money or something."

To Megumi's horror, Hiroto began sniffing her, and it was all that she could do to slap him. How dare he?!

" _Na_ , Zanza," Hiroto said, his face very close to Sano's, "why do you smell like a girl?"

* * *

Sano emptied his fifth bowl of rice. " _Kutta! Kutta!"_ He exclaimed, leaning back and rubbing his stomach.

Around him, Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko were all staring at him bug-eyed.

Sano did not notice right away as he fished around his pockets for a toothpick. When he remembered that he couldn't find any in these clothes he was wearing, he reached out and broke off a piece of bone from the fish he just demolished and placed it between his teeth. He finally noticed the silence around him and remembered to be polite. "Oh, right. _Gochisousama deshita!"_

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh?!"

* * *

"Come on, Zanza," urged the stalker, whom Megumi finally recognized as Genji, one of Sano's gambling hall buddies. "Just one drink. It'll do you some good and get you out of that weird funk you're in right now."

" _Kekkou desu_ ," Megumi replied and realized at once that it was too polite. Shit, how do you say "NO" rudely?

" _Aa_ , _hen na, choo hen na_ ," Hiroto muttered under his breath.

" _Kuso_ , alright!" She said, annoyed. By god, she didn't ask for this. Why was this happening? If she were dreaming, she should have woken up by now. But she was wide awake and no matter how much she didn't want to believe it, she had for some reason or another become that idiot Sanosuke.

She didn't even know _sake_ houses were open at this time of the morning. But they ended up in a stall by the side of the road, drinking _sake_ from a _masu_ cup, being served by a roundish lady who kept trying to flirt with Megumi in Sano's body. It was beyond embarrassing. She drank faster and passed out by the fifth round of drinks.

* * *

Kaoru had decided to bring Megumi to Genzai- _sensei_ for a check-up. There was something clearly not right about her. Sano thought otherwise. Judging by what he saw this morning – and he saw ( _gomen_ _na, kitsune_ ) everything – everything was right about Megumi.

"Megumi, are you ready?" Kaoru's light footsteps were padding down her way.

 _Yabai_. Sano looked around in panic as he once again tried to unsuccessfully loop the _obi_ around Megumi's impossibly narrow waist. What the fuck is this thing? How the fuck does this thing work?

"Oi, Megumi- _sensei_." Kaoru appeared through the partially open _shoji_ and drew to a stop.

" _N-na, Kaoru-chan_ , I have no idea how this thing works." At least he remembered not to call her " _jouchan_."

* * *

Somebody was tickling her. She felt it – that light, stroking feeling, making his skin itch. She moved his arm to scratch it and heard a giggle. _Nani?_ The light stroking returned, this time the finger – she was sure now that it was a finger – was making circles around his nipple.

Megumi sat bolt upright, saw the serving lady from the stall grinning at her flirtily, and screamed.

"Oi, Zanza, calm down and stop acting like a virgin," came the voice of Genji. He was still drinking _._ They were still at that stall. The serving lady was cackling at her expense.

She had passed out – how long was she out? "How long was I out?" She repeated aloud. The worst thing about it was that she was still drunk.

"Not long." Genji poured more _sake_ and nudged it her way.

"No, I don't think I should have anymore," Megumi muttered.

"What are you talking about? You've had like two drinks and you're acting even more like a lunatic. Drink some more."

"I can't. I think I'm gonna _huuurrrrl –_ " And she did. Right there on the dirt next to her feet.

When she finished, Genji put down his _masu_ cup and said, " _Na,_ Zanza, you should get yourself checked. Maybe see that doctor friend of yours. You're not right in the head, buddy."

* * *

"Fascinating," Genzai- _sensei_ murmured as he moved a finger from side to side while Sano followed it with her eyes. Next, the old doctor checked Megumi's pulse, then checked her heartbeat. When his hand slipped and accidentally brushed against Megumi's breast, Sano made an annoyed sound.

"Oi, _hentai-sensei_ , watch it!"

" _Gomen_ , _gomen_ , it just slipped," the doctor said. "I thought you were going to slap me as Megum-kun would have done."

"You'll get punched, doc, is what I'll do," Sano growled, although in Megumi's voice, it sounded more like a purr. The hell, was this what Megumi had to go through working at this clinic?

"So you really are Sagara Sanosuke."

" _Aa_."

"And this really is Megumi-kun's body."

" _Aa._ Can you do something about it?"

"I'm not sure what I can do."

"Haaaahhhhh?"

* * *

Megumi arrived at the familiar clinic, still slightly tipsy but at least she was walking steadily and no one tried to stop her on the way. She opened the small wooden gate and strode in. She realized a while ago that, with Sano's long legs, she could actually do that – stride into places, hands in her pockets. She thought she was getting the hang of the way Sano walked until she met him at the doorway to the clinic.

"Yo," he greeted casually.

As she came close, she exaggerated her strides and even incorporated spitting to make her look more rough-hewn as she imagined him to be. It soon became clear however that she did not know how men do it – spit at a trajectory with precision. She ended up with spit dribbling down her chin.

Did she mention she was still a little drunk?

" _Ore wo baka ni suru tsumori ka?_ " Sano asked, perfectly serious. Was she trying to make him look like an idiot?

"In this body? _Baka mitai ni kanjiru!"_ She retorted. Utterly.

* * *

Tbc

* * *

AN This is just a silly, nonsense fic idea I had, inspired by the gender-swap theme in Makoto Shinkai's Kimi Na Wa. It's a character study in a fish-out-of-water setting. Also because I just wanted to write these two again in a completely new fic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kirikae**

 _By lawless_

* * *

Because Genzai-sensei could not, for the life of him, figure out how or what happened, it was decided that Sano and Megumi should stay in the clinic for further observation. Of course, this drew some irate protest from the two. In the time it took for them to realize that there was currently no cure to their condition, their natural resentment for each other had grown exponentially.

Suddenly, they were noticing even more annoying things about each other they hadn't noticed before.

Like the way Sano's body seemed to itch all the time and Megumi had to constantly resist the urge to scratch herself like a dog. She told him she suspected he had fleas.

Or the way Megumi seemed to have a lot of hair – so much hair that got into everywhere that Sano feared he was going to cough out a gigantic hairball soon. He threatened to cut all of her hair.

To which, Megumi merely adjusted his _hachimaki_ and calmly declared she would shave both his brows.

" _Iisugi da, onibabaa!_ " Sano roared, watching in horror as Megumi held up a scalpel to his beautiful, thick brows. "Stop it, alright! _Kuso!_ You win!"

Megumi smiled in gleeful triumph, causing Sano to wonder if his shit-eating grin really did look as irritating as he found it to be on Megumi. In fact, everything about himself was irritating on Megumi. He wondered if that was just her.

He passed a critical eye over his body and decided there was something off about it. It was not just the way Megumi carried herself in it that stood out to him. Sure, she was sitting _seiza_ and not cross-legged like any self-respecting, man-spreading male would. And yes, she had wrapped his _gi_ around his body in a futile attempt at modesty – as if, the bruises and scars were things to be ashamed about. In Mongolia, all the women dug his scars. No, it was something else. He thought for a moment, and noticed it for the first time.

Sano sniffed the air in the general direction of Megumi, only to draw back in disgust. _\- what is that godawful smell?_ " _Oi, kitsune_ ," he called.

Megumi merely arched a brow at him.

"Why the fuck do I smell like a girl?"

* * *

" _Okashii na_."

 _"Hontou no okashii."_

"It's definitely strange."

Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko were all sitting in the next room, listening to all the sniping coming through the half-open _shoji_. ( _"Be grateful you don't smell like a hog." "Nani ga iitain da?!" "It means exactly what it means!")_

"You think it was because of all the drinking?" Kaoru ventured while in the background the argument seemed to have escalated into a fight. At one point, Kaoru thought she heard Megumi threaten to cut off Sano's balls, to which Sano responded that he would parade naked around the streets. "I mean, it did get pretty rowdy last night," Kaoru bravely continued, adding under her breath, "even though it started so well and pleasant."

" _So ka_ ," Kenshin replied.

Last night, they were celebrating Sano's return to Japan (after a year of getting lost in Mongolia), and coincidentally, Megumi's yearly visit with her friends in Tokyo. The reunion was unexpected but welcome and, though embarrassed, Kenshin and Kaoru were more than happy to break the news of their marriage to their two closest friends.

"I've never seen the _kitsune-ona_ that drunk," Yahiko said.

"Or Sano, for that matter," Kaoru rejoined. "I heard he couldn't even walk Megumi all the way home because he passed out right on the street."

"Yeah, and Megumi would have been too drunk to notice he wasn't with her anymore," Yahiko added.

"Where did you hear that?" Kenshin asked.

"Genji-san happened to mention it while I was out in the market this morning," Kaoru said. "He also said Sano must have picked up some strange habits abroad."

("Either that or he banged his head pretty bad when he fell off a horse trying to impress that Mongolian goat herder's girl," Genji muttered.)

* * *

 _(Kinou no yoru….)_

The evening started well enough for Sagara Sanosuke. For two boisterous hours, he was able to enact his favorite role of blade-about-town. At the hour of the rooster, he played dice with Genji at his favorite gambling hall – and lost. He treated old man Genzai's granddaughters to _anpan,_ challenged them to their favorite game of _kagome kagome_ – and lost. At the hour of the dog, he played _hanafuda_ with a group of intemperate cronies – and lost.

He was more successful when the clock struck four times to signal the hour of the pig. He spent dinner at the Akabeko-ya with Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko where he held court, entertaining them with tall tales of his misadventures abroad. The rest of the gang, led by old man Genzai _,_ arrived late. Of course, he knew that the _kitsune-onna_ was in town (she had arrived from Aizu about a week ahead of him) and so when she showed up behind the old doctor and the girls, Ayame and Suzume, he was not surprised even though it was the first time he'd seen her in roughly a year.

"Yo, fox," he casually greeted.

" _Toriatama no baka_ ," Megumi returned but her manner was congenial, and just like that it was as though no time had passed.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur. Stories were told. Food was eaten. Kenshin and Kaoru broke their good news. Congratulations were given. And Sano produced a bag of _arkhi_ which he claimed was the best – simply the best, and watched with ill-concealed mirth as Yahiko took a sip and made a face.

" _Kore wa nani?!"_ Yahiko exclaimed, wiping his mouth in disgust.

Sano guffawed loudly, as the others took careful sips and made exactly the same face. "Milk vodka," he declared, grinning widely. He downed his drink in one go and loudly proclaimed it " _uma!"_

" _Nanda?_ What the hell is that? _"_

"They drink this in Mongolia all winter long. _Umai ka?_ "

" _Umai…?_ It's disgusting!"

"It's quite strong," murmured Kenshin.

Beside him, Megumi took a sip, grimaced, then took a long gulp, emptying her cup. "I can see why they drink this in winter," she said, cheeks already blossoming a pale pink. She held her empty cup to him and said, " _Mou ippai onaji mono_."

Sano chuckled, impressed despite himself, and obligingly poured her another cup. "Na, _kuso-gaki_ ," he said, handing Megumi the cup and turning to Yahiko to give him a sage advice: "Drink a cup of this every day and you'll be wrestling cattle within the year."

" _Urusee yo_ ," Yahiko scowled with indignation. "Who wants to wrestle cattle for a year?"

Megumi cackled as she drank from her cup. "Only an idiot."

"Oi, I mean it will make you strong," Sano huffed. "Then maybe," he added with a gleam in his eye as Tsubame passed by with some drinks for the next table, "you can finally grow the balls to ask the _chibi-ona_ out."

"…S-stop talking nonsense, _baka yarou!"_ Yahiko's face was red and not from the alcohol.

All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. By the time the clock struck the hour of the rat, almost everybody but the kids was drunk.

Megumi was swaying gently on her feet when she said her goodbyes to the Himuras. Even Sano found it difficult to walk beside her without waving. Old man Genzai and the girls were walking ahead of them – a little too fast, it seemed, because after a while Sano could barely hear Ayame and Suzume singing " _Kagome, kagome"_ as their figures got swallowed by the dark.

Soon, there was only the swishing sound of cloth against cloth and the clacking of Megumi's _geta_. And because it was a moonless night and the quiet was unnerving, Sano began singing under his breath, " _Kagome, kagome, kago ko naka no tori wa…."_

There was a scoff and Sano turned to leer at his companion. " _Itsu itsu deyaru?"_

Megumi sighed but started humming along.

With a grin, Sano continued, " _Yoake no ban ni, tsuru to kame ga subetta…."_

A shadowless night.

* * *

 _(Ushiro no shoumen daare?")_

* * *

Tbc

* * *

AN This is for fun.

Right. And now for some Japanese lessons. Honestly, the meaning of the words from the first chapter is not the point. They're all slang phrases the meaning of which depend entirely on context. I thought perhaps I was able to get the message across by writing the context against which the phrases were said. But anyway, here goes nothing:

 _Kirikae_ – switch

 _Yakitori_ – skewered chicken

 _Chikushou_ – "damn" but literally means "beast"

 _Nanja korya_ – What the hell is going on

 _Yukata_ – a type of Japanese traditional clothing

 _Nanda? Nanda kuso?_ – What the hell? What the fuck?

 _Baka yarou_ – Asshole

 _Yabai_ – can mean "very good" or "very bad"

 _Ochinchin_ – a respectful way of referring to someone's penis

 _Gi_ – what Sano wears

 _Kusottare_ – shit-dripper

 _Monku akka?_ – Do you have a problem?

 _Gomen_ – Sorry

 _Baka ja nai no?_ – Are you an idiot?

 _Nani kuso_? _– What the hell?_

 _Ano, gomen na_ – Uhm, I'm sorry

 _Urusai yo_ – It means "shut up" but it literally says "so noisy"

 _Sou desu_ – I agree

 _Kutta!_ – I'm full

 _Gochisousama deshita_ – Thanks for the meal

 _Kekkou desu_ – I don't want to

 _Aa, hen na, choo hen na_ – Yes, it's weird, it's very weird

 _Kuso_ – Dammit or shit

 _Sake_ – rice wine

 _Masu_ – a wooden box-like cup used for measuring rice but also used for drinking _sake_

 _Kitsune_ – fox

 _Obi_ – traditional sash or belt worn by women

 _Shoji_ – traditional Japanese window, door or divider

 _Jouchan_ – "little girl" which is what Sano calls Kaoru

 _Nani_? – What?

 _Hentai-sensei_ – pervert doctor

 _Ore wo baka ni suru tsumori ka?_ – Are you trying to make me look stupid?

 _Baka mitai ni kanjiru_ – I feel really stupid.

 _Hachimaki_ – bandanna

 _Iisugi da, onibabaa!_ – You go too far, demon-woman!

 _Seiza_ – a position in which the person is kneeling while their butt rests on the back of their legs; just look at the way Japanese women in _kimono_ sit

 _Okashii na_ – This is weird.

 _Hontou no okashii_ – Very weird.

 _Nani ga iitain da?!_ – What is that supposed to mean?

 _So ka_ – I see

 _Kitsunna-ona_ – Fox-lady

 _Kinou no yoru_ – Last night

 _Anpan_ – Japanese sweet roll

 _Kagome kagome_ – a children's game

 _Hanafuda_ – a card game

 _Toriatama no baka_ – Stupid roosterhead

 _Kore wa nani?!_ – What is that?

 _Uma!_ – Delicious!

 _Umai ka?_ – Is it delicious?

 _Mou ippai onaji mono_ – I'll have another drink

 _Kuso-gaki_ – "Shit brat" but used like "li'l shit"

 _Urusee yo_ – Shut up

 _Chibi-ona_ – Little woman

 _Kagome, kagome,_ etc. – It's the song sang by kids playing that game and it goes like: "The bird in the basket, when, oh when will it come out; in the night of dawn, the crane and turtle slipped; who is behind you now?"

The song is total nonsense (and yet is it?)


	3. Chapter 3

**Kirikae**

 _By lawless_

* * *

"Wait, Yahiko!" Kaoru called from the kitchen. "You forgot the soup!"

Yahiko looked up from putting on his _zori_. "Hah? I thought you put everything inside already." He took the _oibako_ off his shoulders and inspected its contents.

" _Iie_." Kaoru shook her head as she placed the carefully wrapped bowl of _miso_ soup inside. "Kenshin insisted on the soup he made himself. You know, just in case."

"In case your _oyakodon_ is terribl – _itai!_ " Yahiko rubbed his crown where Kaoru swiftly knocked him with a well-aimed fist. "Violent _busu-babaa_ ," he muttered under his breath as he picked up the _oibako_ and shrugged it over his shoulders.

"I heard that!"

" _Ittekimasu!"_ Yahiko monotoned, stepping off the _engawa_ to start his long walk to the clinic.

He looked up at the sky. It was a nice morning. All quiet and peaceful. Of course, it was always a little bit quieter in this street, not like the streets near Ruffian Row.

He'd moved out of the Kamiya _dojo_ about a year ago. Mostly at Sano's urging (he had a hunch that Kenshin and Kaoru needed the space and, for once, the _toriatama_ was right), and also because Yahiko needed his own space. Be his own man, so to speak.

Mornings at Ruffian Row were always loud, filled with drunken singing, screeching wives, clanging pots and hissing cats. Having practically grown up in the streets, Yahiko was no stranger to the aliveness of it all. But sometimes, only sometimes, he missed the stillness of the dojo – the gentle _'pu'_ sound of the _shishi-doshi_ , Kaoru practicing her _kata_ , Kenshin humming softly as he did the laundry. Sometimes, he missed the sounds of home.

The clinic appeared into view.

With his destination in sight, Yahiko quickened his steps. It was still early but he expected that at least the _onna-sensei_ would be up and about by now. Sano, the lazy bum, would probably still be snoring. So he didn't announce his arrival and simply let himself in. He was halfway towards the kitchen when he heard a noise coming from one of the rooms. He paused then stalked towards the direction of the sound to investigate.

"No, it's too hard." That was Megumi's voice.

"What do you mean it's too hard? You're the one who's too tight." That was Sano's voice.

"Stop, stop, it hurts, dammit, go slow."

"…like that?"

"Yes, just like that. Gently, gently…."

"That's better."

A sighing sound.

"God, that feels good."

Yahiko never thought his ears could blush but they did. He dropped the _tansu_ and fled.

From inside the room, Sano and Megumi stopped what they were doing as they turned towards the noise.

After a beat, Sano called, "Who's there?" He was sitting cross-legged on the _tatami_ , holding a jar of hair oil, while Megumi was kneeling behind him, hand paused in the middle of combing Sano's (her) hair. "Did you hear that?" He questioned.

Megumi nodded. "Go check."

Sano stood up and drew back the _shoji_. But the place was empty, except for a _oibako_ lying on the floor. "Hey, I recognize this," he exclaimed, picking up the wood and bamboo traveling box. "This is Yahiko's."

* * *

"Wait, Yahiko!" Kaoru called from the kitchen. " _Tsukemono! Tsukemono!"_

Yahiko looked up from putting on his _zori_. " _Gomen_ , I thought I had it with me already."

"Where's your _oibako_?" Kaoru asked, noticing that Yahiko was using a piece of cloth to wrap the meals in.

Yahiko felt his cheeks twinge. "Oh I, uh, left it at the clinic."

"You're so careless." Kaoru handed him the jar of pickled vegetables. "Here. Sano likes pickles."

"He only says that 'coz you let him freeload," Yahiko muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!"

" _Ittekimasu!"_ Yahiko monotoned, stepping off the _engawa_ to start his long walk to the clinic.

Man, what a hot day. He wiped the beads of sweat already forming on his forehead as he swung the cloth-wrapped lunch box over his shoulder. But he was excited about today because today was the day he was going to ask Tsubame to go cherry blossom viewing at Ueno Park. He would wait until she got off from work (when he would just happen to pass by and just happen to be walking in the same direction as her) to casually broach the subject.

The clinic came into view. As he drew closer, Yahiko slowed down, remembering what had occurred that morning. Perhaps, he overreacted, misheard things and misinterpreted them. But just in case, when he entered the clinic, he made sure to announce his arrival.

But the clinic was empty.

Yahiko crossed the _tatami_ towards the kitchen to place the food and listen for some signs of life.

"Tighter."

There it was. That was Sano's voice. Yahiko followed the sound to one of the rooms. He was about to call out when –

"You're pulling too hard," Megumi said with a groan.

Sano grunted in response, adding, "Harder."

There was a gasp. "I can't…"

"…come on, we're almost there…"

Yahiko did not wait to listen to the rest as he fled from the place.

From inside the room, Sano and Megumi paused what they were doing as they turned towards the noise.

"Who's there?" Sano called. He was standing in the middle of the room, holding on to a post while Megumi tried to wrap an _obi_ around his waist. "Did you hear that?"

Megumi nodded. "Go check."

Sano strode across the _tatami_ and pushed aside the _shoji_. But the place was empty, except for the smell of beef _sukiyaki_. "Looks like we have lunch."

* * *

That evening, Yahiko failed to show up. No particular reason given. So Kaoru and Kenshin brought dinner to the clinic.

"I wonder what those two have been up to," Kaoru said as they made their way slowly down the street.

"Has Yahiko- _kun_ said anything to you?" Kenshin was walking ahead, one arm holding the basket, the other resting on the _kashira_ of his _sakabatou_. Kaoru followed a step behind.

"No. He turns red as _Kintoki_ everytime I ask."

The pause in Kenshin's footsteps was barely perceptible. Kaoru did not notice as Kenshin continued.

" _Inu to neko no naka_ ," Kaoru muttered under her breath.

"Hm?"

"Those two agree like cats and dogs."

Kenshin smiled. "Hm."

"Maybe that's why they got cursed. A _tengu_ heard them the other night. What they need now is a priest, not a doctor."

The Oguni Clinic came into view. Its windows were open, warm yellow light pouring out, beckoning the approaching visitors to hasten their steps. As they drew closer, they saw that the outside _shoji_ was open, revealing the _fusuma_ made of plain white wood separating the _yorutsoki_ from the interior. But the occupants of the clinic were nowhere in sight.

Kaoru called out a formal greeting and walked onto the _tataki_.

"Do it slowly, and steady." The voice came from the _engawa_ which ran along the North-side of the clinic.

There was a gasp, followed by an exclamation. " _Kami-sama_ , that's too big!"

"Tsk, hold still or it won't fit."

There was a grunt, followed by a low moan.

When Kaoru turned to face Kenshin, her face was steaming red and her eyes were round like saucers. Without a word, she grabbed the dinner basket from the _rurouni_ , dropped it on the _shikidai_ with a loud thud, and swiftly dragged Kenshin out of there before he could even say " _Oro?"_

From the _engawa_ , Sano and Megumi paused what they were doing as they turned towards the noise.

"What was that?" Sano sounded. He was sitting on the _engawa_ , one foot resting on the stone step, the other folded under the fabric of Megumi's _yukata_ he was wearing. He was holding one end of a rather large piece of cloth while Megumi held the other end. On the matted-wooden floor lay a pair of scissors and some irregularly-shaped snippets of cloth.

Megumi, as Sano, was teaching Sano, as Megumi, how to make a bandage. They got so engrossed in the exercise they did not hear anything else but for the loud thud coming from the front door. They've been hearing a lot of those lately. Without prompting, Sano stood up and strode towards the _genkan_.

"It's probably dinner!" Megumi hollered from the north.

* * *

 **AN** Wow, I didn't really think through how confusing this is to write.(Pronouns are so hard). I'll probably resolve this by the next chapter just because it's hard to write this shit. LOL

Obligatory English Translation:

 _Zori_ \- slippers

 _Oibako_ \- a knapsack made of wooden frame and a box made of woven bamboo

 _Iie_ \- No

 _Miso_ \- fermented soybean

 _Oyakodon_ \- chicken and egg noodle

 _Itai_ \- Ouch!

 _busu-babaa_ \- Ugly hag

 _Ittekimasu_ \- I'm leaving

 _Engawa_ \- porch

 _Shishi-doshi_ \- water fountain made of bamboo

 _Tsukemono_ \- pickled vegetables

 _Kashira_ \- pommel of a sword's hilt

 _Sakabatou_ \- Kenshin's reverse-edged sword

 _Kintoki_ \- as in red kintoki beans; Kintoki is a Japanese warrior during the Heian period, famous for his red face

 _Inu to neko no naka_ \- They agree like cats and dogs

 _Tengu_ \- a supernatural being with bird-like features

 _Fusuma_ \- interior sliding panels used to separate rooms

 _Yorutsoki_ \- part of the entryway of a Japanese traditional house/building

 _Tataki_ \- ground floor of the genkan (entryway)

 _Shikidai_ \- wooden step, part of the genkan


End file.
